But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
