Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
