he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
