That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
