A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
