Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
