I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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