saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
