I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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