My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
