i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
