We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
it hurts more in the daytime
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
