I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
