Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
