I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
