ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
