nut hugger
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
