just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Randomize
