can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
