If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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