Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
