She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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