ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
