So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
