i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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