Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
