6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
