I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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