What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
