He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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