Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My balls are so social today.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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