If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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