Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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