Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
