I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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