someone owes me an orgasm
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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