Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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