She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Small penises have feelings too.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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