don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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