He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
