Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
