The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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