it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
God I need to hump something, right now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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