His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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