There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
