Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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