I cockslap morals
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
