ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
