alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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