I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
