You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
