She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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